One of the major cause of setbacks in life for many of us is – Perfectionism. It holds us back and hinders our ability to achieving and finishing our targets, aims, goals and dreams.
Worst part of it is that: it prevents us from starting something new. It drains our valuable energy and throws into a negative spiral with ever narrowing and diminishing possibility of achievement. Thus resulting in low self-esteem and lost self-confidence.
So, I would like to share some of my experience which is helpful in overcoming this destructive and distracting habit.
Aim for “Good enough”
Aiming for perfectionism ends up in being “unfinished and undone”. So go for good enough instead, and reach the finish line. Achieving perfectionism will become an excuse for your slack off. Instead realize the fact that there is something called “good enough” and this will carry you through to the finish line. Don’t get lost in trying to improve and polish something unnecessarily. Find the balance. And remember everyone has its own balance and you can find your own through trial & error and experience.
The Myth of Perfection Hurts You and People Around You
The belief installed in you by watching too many movies, listening to motivational lectures over internet and taking in what the world around you is telling, can easily pursue you to chase perfectionism. This will sound so lively, big and wonderful and you would love it.
But this belief clashes with reality in real life and tends to cause stress and suffering within you and people around you as well. This may also lead to projects being abandoned, jobs being lost and relationships being strained. This all happens because your expectations are out of this world.
Accept That You are Human, Living Among Humans
Set human standards for people around you and for yourself as well. Nothing in this world is flawless and things do not always go as planned. There is always room for improvement but you can never be perfect. You just need to be a reasonably balanced human being, and that’s it. You will not be merely rejected because you are not perfect, understand that in reality no one is perfect. Be polite and courteous with yourself. Try to shape your own environment and keep in mind that as emotions are contagious so is perfectionism.
Compare Yourself to Yourself
Comparing yourself to others can easily bring a strong feeling of being inferior. Everyone has its own question paper in life. So don’t try to copy others answers, solve your own.
Your ingredients for comparison should be:
- See how far you have come and what you have improved.
- Look back at what obstacles you have overcome.
- Focus on what you are doing rather than looking at what others are doing.
- Appreciate yourself, learn to celebrate your achievements in life.
- See your half-filled glass not the half empty one.
Either avoid or spend less time with nervously perfectionistic people. Instead, look for people who are trying to improve themselves and are living a good life in a positive, healthy and relaxed manner in real life.
Follow Your Instinct – Do What You Think is The Right Thing
People, media and society has significant influence over how you think, feel, behave and react. Your goal must be to lessen the power of other people’s expectation on you. Take more charge of your own life by doing right things as much as you can without being subservient other’s expectations. When you listen to yourself and do accordingly your self-esteem beefs up and other people’s opinion about you will matter less to you. You have to be stronger and ensure that you are not easily swayed by external factors.